A Year Sober—-Yay & Now What?
Newark Airport
May 2022: musing prior to today…June 6, 2022- 1 Year Mark
It is so weird…
literally the song playing right now is “we should talk about it when we are sober”. Literal chills
I am also writing this from what had been, and I guess is and definitely can be a triggering place, a (being kind) “restaurant” in the airport….AND of course quite pricey (location location location) if you choose to go the drinking or eating route but more so the drink
As I sit here and ponder not drinking and actually writing (being creative and soon also to be reading) something I always wanted to do but didn’t here
WHY I drank instead- I was being “social” I kept doing it even when it was’t fun any more, if it ever truely was the more I reflect- like why did I start and consume so much and so much basically from the beginning- like a troubling amount i mean stories- many horrifying to ponder personally some funny all emasressing in some way, espeacilly if we choose to analzie and remove any rose color galassses from situations or reflect on myself now and think hmm this me would have really enjoyed being more present at that event- but that is all there to remind us and keep us focused on the now- i want to keep making the future i want!!
Yesterday I moved my finance out of grad school and into a storage unit prior to our move to our new lake house (way grateful and more on that positive development and journey to come!! :)
We got it done very quickly, efficiently and I drove the Uhaul, all things that never have happened so well or smoothly if I wasn’t sober- the more I ponder…it could have been the most triggering day in addition in so so soooooo may ways
Then once to the airport- somewhere I would NEVER have driven to, regardless of loving Travis and knowing he was tired- I would definitely have let those old fears and worries consume me and my decisions plus I would have been drinking or wanted to drink because every trip my mind would go into “vacation mode” aka lets just drink drink drink- so so glad it was not even on my radar (on my radar)
The experience was not great, basically I disagree with United Airlines and their pet policy and I hope they treat their customers with more humanity in the future- let us learn to love each other surviving a global pandemic together- respect, love, growth
This experience would have been beyond triggering, I would have drank as soon as I could have- maybe before a decision was even made- HEY I even saw my amazing Aunt before we got to airport so theoretically an honestly on that timeline I may(would) have had a few drinks prior to going to the airport if I was choosing so- making this situation even worse I may- IF i am being honest with myself I probably would have decided to just stay, drink, sleep at airport because at the time of night it had become and with the very intense day I would have been like FUCK it- that would have not been wise, for my mind, body or bank account (ooooof)
Instead I got a last minute room for me and our dog, not the easiest task, but so glad I did- it was a lovely room, great to shower (TWICE!!) thank you water- had a lovely sleep, had a indulgent morning full of yoga, meditation and dog walk- so so grateful and plan to keep myself in a mindset that is grateful, reflective, proud, appreciative and moving in thoughts and actions that continue this continual progress and amazing journey!!!
Thanks for going on this journey with me and I look forward to sharing and growing more as I enter year 2!! Also always here to chat if anyone who reads this is inspired to do so or has questions
Have a wonderful day
-Love, Mike ❤❤😊
